It truly does get better <3

- my autistic glow up-

a letter to the younger me (and to you, if you're just starting out)

I used to think I was broken. That there was something deeply wrong with me. I didn’t understand why life felt so overwhelming, why everything hurt, or why I always seemed to be too much. Too sensitive. Too chaotic. Too intense. Too “different”.

Then, at 19, I heard the word autistic.

And no- it didn’t fix me. I didn’t suddenly feel free or whole. But it gave me something I never had before: a starting point.

Autism isn't a learning disability (though it can co-occur with one). Autism isn't one specific look or behaviour. It doesn’t have a set checklist or a neat box you fit into. It’s a spectrum, a full paint palette- not a straight line. It’s not “just a boy thing” or “only maths geniuses” or “people who don’t feel emotions.”

It’s me.

It’s a part of who I am. Alongside PDA. ADHD. C-PTSD. It shapes how I experience the world- and how the world responds to me.

My glow up didn’t come from “getting better”. It came from getting real. From unlearning everything I thought I had to be, and relearning who I actually was.

The shift started with a pen and a blank page. I rediscovered journaling- not the perfect Pinterest-style spreads, but junk journaling, art journaling, my kind of journaling.

It gave me freedom.

A space to explore who Hannah is- without rules, without judgement, without trying to fit in. My notebook became my sanctuary. A planner, meltdown toolkit, sketchbook, scrapbook, poetry page, and sometimes just chaos in colour. That notebook told the truth before I could speak it out loud. It helped me process, unmask, and eventually- start living authentically.

Life didn’t magically become easy. It’s still hard. I still struggle. I am disabled by the world around me, by its pace, noise, rules, and expectations. But when I stopped measuring myself against who I thought I should be- and started building a life that fits me- that’s when everything started to change.

Healing isn’t linear. There’s no finish line. But there was a moment I chose to try. To stop hiding. To stop apologising. To start creating a life that reflects who I am, not who I’m told to be.

This is my autistic glow up.

Not about aesthetics, but authenticity. Not about fixing, but about unmasking. Not about being included- but being truly seen.

So, to the teen reading this who just got a diagnosis…To the young person feeling like they’ll never belong…To the version of me who felt like disappearing:

I promise you this: You are not broken. You are not alone. You deserve joy, rest, support, expression, belonging. You deserve to know that your way of existing is valid.

Start small.

Pick up a pen.

Paint something messy.

Cry.

Breathe.

Dream.

This is the beginning. Of your healing. Of your glow up. Of your life, on your terms.

Because it does get better. And you, just as you are, are more than enough.

Always have been. Always will be.

🖤

Lots of love

Hannah xx